Kuzco: When will you learn that all my ideas are good ones?
Pacha: Well, that's funny. Because I thought that you going into the jungle by yourself, being chased by jaguars, lying to me to take you back to the palace were all really *bad* ideas.
Kuzco: Oh, yeah. Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude.

Kuzco: I am one hungry king of the world.

Kuzco: There's two people in there looking for you.
Kuzco: Who?
Pacha: A big guy and a skinny old woman.
Kuzco: Wait, was this woman scary beyond all reason?
Pacha: Oh, yeah!
Kuzco: That's Yzma and Kronk! I'm saved!

Kuzco: Oh, and by the way, you're fired.
Yzma: Fired? W-W-What do you mean, "fired"?
Kuzco: Um, how else can I say it? "You're being let go." "Your department's being downsized." "You're part of an outplacement." "We're going in a different direction." "We're not picking up your option." Take your pick. I got more.

Kuzco: This is Yzma, the emperor's advisor. Living proof that dinosaurs once roamed the Earth.

Pacha: Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you? I was always taught that there was some good in everyone, but, oh, you proved me wrong.
Kuzco: Oh, boo-hoo. Now I feel really bad. Bad llama.
Pacha: I could've let you die out there in that jungle, and then all my problems would be over.
Kuzco: Well, that makes you ugly *and* stupid.

Kuzco: Ahh! My face! My beautiful, beautiful face! I'm an ugly, stinky llama! Wah-hah-hah! Llama face!